Posts Tagged ‘Comedy’

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More than often people have the predetermined thoughts about fat people and that shit is annoying. Believe me, I know society follows the majority rules theory but that’s bullshit . It’s just a couple that I want to clear up that I hear often.

Fat People eat anything
Fuck you and kill yourself, I didn’t get fat from just eating honey buns and cupcakes. I got fat from meals and I don’t mean frozen dinners. I probably would be skinny too if my mother didn’t cook every night and I ate oodles and noodles. We didn’t have struggle meals, moms made us real food from scratch.

Fat people stink
Now I have been around some fat stinky motherfuckers. The one thing my mother instilled in me was “people think all fat people stink so always smell your best!” Since I was told that hygiene as always been a top priority to me. Plus, I love to hear women say “oh Dion you smell so good.”

Fat people can’t dress
WELP, when the only clothing they make in your size is sweatpants and MooMoo’s what the fuck you expect from us to do? I couldn’t settle for that, I made it my duty to find fine threads in my size. Sidenote God Bless Michael Kors and Ralph Lauren.

Fat people are lazy
We’re not lazy we just find smarter ways to do things than skinny people do. I’m not doing 3 flights of stairs when there’s a elevator coming, ill just be patient and wait. See skinny people are always in a hurry to get stuff done and then cause a catastrophe. Slow and steady wins the race.

Fat People are lonely
Don’t know about you but lonely hasn’t been in my vocabulary since I was 12. The common misconception is that fat people lack the basic skills and tools it takes to secure a mate. That’s not everybody there are fat men and women that will treat you better than anyone ever have. There’s also those out here that are “fat players”

Now in no way am I saying being fat is the way to be at all. I’m on my way to the treadmill now, but what I’m saying is we are not all fat sloppy balls of funk and puss. A little extra skin doesn’t mean there’s not a human-being underneath of it all.

Concerned Fat Guy